I thought we'd grow old together, says band leader whose girlfriend died in Thai bar inferno

One moment, Athipat Wichan was tinkering with song ideas off stage while watching his band perform to a packed crowd at a bar in Bangkok. The next, a ferocious fire had engulfed the stage and cut off power, prompting him to run for his life.

"I fumbled around until I found the entrance to the door, but flames shot towards me as soon as I reached it," Athipat told BBC Thai a day after the deadly blaze at Rong Beer Na Lat Phrao, which left 33 people dead and 15 others critically injured.

"I almost didn't make it out in time."

The tragedy hit Athipat's band, Thotsakan, especially hard.

Four of its 11 members – female vocalist Nahathai Satjalert, male vocalist Thitiwat Kaewkanha, keyboardist Pruttipong Phutmon and drummer Nathaphat Thammanitha – are among the dead.

Nahathai was also Athipat's girlfriend.

"I had imagined us being together until we're old, her scolding me until we're old, but now I can't hear her voice any more."

The 32-year-old band leader spoke to BBC Thai at Nahathai's funeral, with monks chanting in the background. Many in the funeral hall were beside themselves with grief. Several members of Thotsakan were also present.

An emotional Athipat says he regrets bringing his girlfriend into the band. "I shouldn't have let you be here...

"I want to apologise and I want to say that I love her very much and will continue to love her every day."

Athipat, who sustained injuries to his head and arms, is also devastated about his bandmates who lost their lives.

Nathaphat, the drummer, had only come on board a month ago, while Pruttipong, the keyboardist, was about to leave the band.

Vocalist Thitiwat had spoken about celebrating Athipat's birthday on Sunday. "Instead of celebrating my birthday, we ended up arranging a funeral," Athipat says.

Athipat founded the band when he was 20. An avid fan of Thai literature, he named it Thotsakan, the primary antagonist in the national epic, Ramakien.

After performing for five years with Thotsakan, Athipat took a break and joined another band. But that only lasted a few months before he decided to revive Thotsakan – the band's "phase two" – with a new slate of musicians.

Most of the 11 members who were at Rong Beer Na Lat Phrao when the fire broke out on Monday had come on board during this "phase two".

The band had encountered electricity problems before while performing at other venues, but never a fire like this.

Thotsakan's guitarist Chanate Trasing says he initially mistook the smoke for dry ice used in stage performances.

But when he observed it swirling rapidly rather than spreading out as dry ice would, he dropped his guitar, jumped off stage and started running.

"It smelled like plastic burning. It stung my nose," Chanate recounts.

He also recalls seeing keyboardist Pruttipong "looking left and right" in the chaos "like he didn't know what to do".

"When I started running, I thought he would chase after me. It was only when I got out that I realised he didn't," said Chanate, who had just collected drummer Nathaphat's body from the mortuary when he spoke to BBC Thai.

The deadly inferno has raised familiar questions about fire safety standards across Thailand, especially at entertainment venues.

Thai authorities say they are investigating if negligence led to the fire, as survivors reported doors being locked and a lack of signage demarcating emergency exits.

But some question if relevant government agencies should also be held accountable for not properly enforcing regulations.

Athipat echoes these concerns. "I wish venues had higher safety standards so when we perform, we can enjoy ourselves like before without having to worry.

"These days, I believe that if I or anyone from my band goes on stage, they'll think about [the fire] and feel alarmed and uncomfortable," he says.

Thotsakan will grieve their losses for a season, Athipat suggests. "We might be a little disoriented, but we will re-establish our balance and get back on track," he continues, urging fans to hold out for what's next for the band.

Chanate says he will take time to reconsider whether he should continue performing given the safety risks and the fact he has a family, including a toddler, to provide for.

"If you ask me if I love it, I do. I quit a regular job to focus on music... [But] I have to think about it again. I believe everyone has fears," he says.

Memories of the shocking tragedy will remain with Chanate and the other survivors for the rest of their lives, but the guitarist also wants to remember the last thing he saw just before chaos unfolded:

"The smiles of the bar-goers enjoying our music."