Another major football tournament, another wait for England's men's team to end their 60 years of hurt.
England suffered the crushing blow of losing 2-1 to Lionel Messi's Argentina at the World Cup, and that kind of disappointment is one that can take a lot to get over. But if you're looking at the tears of the England players and wondering how you'd ever get over such a big blow, then we've gathered some expert advice on how you can bounce back from disappointment and rebuild your confidence.
How to deal with disappointment
1. Give yourself time to get over the hurt
The England players will be needing a break this summer, then they might want to spend some time reflecting on that final match. We spoke to broadcaster and GP Dr Radha and her advice was that if you're facing disappointment, it's a good idea to give yourself time to process your feelings: "We often find the need to move on straight away or ignore our feelings, but if we take time to process them and talk them through, we can move forward in a healthier way."
You can read what other advice Dr Radha has for how you can manage your feelings in times of disappointment here.
2. Be kind to yourself
Confidence coach Tiwalola Ogunlesi told us that: "One moment in the past doesn't define your whole lifetime unless you allow it to." The England team will do well to remember this and to look forward to getting back to their winning ways. Tiwalola says you can improve confidence by practising self-compassion and being kind to yourself. You can find more tips from Tiwalola about how to boost confidence here.
3. Talk to someone
A motivational team talk might be just what captain Harry Kane needs to give his team mates. Mental health charity Place2Be spoke to us about self-care and the importance of talking about your feelings. "Find a family member, friend or teacher to talk to about how you feel. Always tell a trusted adult if you feel things are getting too much." Check out this guide for more tips about self-care, including pointers for getting a better nights sleep and doing what you love. After all, everything seems worse when you're tired. Something the England players will definitely be feeling this week.
If you've suffered a setback or disappointment and found the advice above useful, then we have many more tips on our wellbeing page that could help guide you through a difficult situation.
Here are my tips for rebuilding your confidence when it’s been knocked. The first thing to do is wake up to the belief that you have in yourself and a belief in your capabilities. So, how do you begin to believe in yourself? You have to be aware of all the greatness that is already inside of you. Starting with your strengths, what are you good at doing? What comes natural to you? When people compliment you or give you praises or positive feedback, what are some of the things that they say? I want you to think of a time that you’ve been proud of yourself, what strengths did you demonstrate in that situation? I want you to write these things down and start to build a strengths log for yourself.
The next thing is really important to know that you’re passionate about and what you love in life and prioritise doing those things. When you follow through with your passions it energises you and it makes you feel confident that you are living a life that you really love. Think about what you care about? What are your values? What’s important to you? When you take your strengths, your passions and the things that are important to you, your values and mix it all together and really be intentional about living life from your place of strength, passion and values it will make you a more confident person and you will feel secure in your sense of self-worth and self-belief.
You know that voice that tell you maybe you’re not good enough to do something or the voice that tells you people don’t care about you and what you think or what you have to say, that voice is not true. Not every single thought that comes into your head is true about who you are. So you have to get really good at challenging that voice.
When you take action and you bet on yourself it builds your confidence, and so no matter what it is you want to do, no matter how big the goal or the dream is, break it down into baby steps and start small. It is scientifically proven that people who look back at their lives with a sense of accomplishment and achievement feel more optimistic and confident about the future. So, if you want to be confident and feel optimistic about your future, write down your wins every day. For example, at the end of each day you can write down in a journal 3 things that went well for you on that day or 3 things you’re grateful for. Write down your wins, whether they’re big or small. They deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged.
If you need support
You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.
If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are more links to helpful organisations on the BBC Bitesize Action Line page for young people.
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